Intentions and Words to Live By in 2014

I spent the first 3 weeks of 2014 dealing with another weird lower leg injury and a never-ending minor (but annoying) upper respiratory infection. I'm still not completely 100%, and yesterday's pre-snowstorm trail run reminded me of that. The forced timeout from physically feeling blah allowed me the opportunity to consider my intentions a little more, uh, intentionally, than my usual "Hey, it's mid-January! I should blog about my intentions for this year!" My physical fitness, on the other hand, is kind of in the toilet. Anyway.

My words to live by 2014 are REFUGE and BELIEVE. 

If you had asked me on December 31 what I thought my word for 2014 would be, I would have said STRENGTH because that's what I thought I needed. But in the course of a 4-hour slow flow, yin, and restorative yoga practice on New Year's Day, it became clear to me that I had plenty of strength. Instead, I needed to believe in that strength and know when to take refuge. Refuge is not the same as being a recluse, which I was pretty sure I was becoming in the last two weeks of the year. Rather, refuge is a place a safety, and sometimes instead of finding that place and recharging, I hang out and weather the storm (see strength, above). 

On to the more tangible non-career intentions for 2014.

First, a few intentions to carry over from 2013:

*  PR in the 5K and 10K distances. A few unexpected things came up this spring and summer that I wanted to give priority to, so I had to put diligent and consistent training on the back burner. I don't feel bad about having to do that and the things I gave priority to work ed out. But I do want to drop a few minutes (yes, minutes) off my current cruising times in these distances, and 2014 is the year to do it.

*  Run another trail race. So, given that training was on the backburner, a trail race didn't happen either. I'm making space for it this year and looking for a few races.

*  Sleep in my tent at least one night. Uh, again, the things I chose to prioritize meant that I did not wind up in a tent even once. Wow.

* This is just going to be an ongoing intention and be integrated into my lifestyle: continue to nurture my friendships in real life. Preferably by adding skiing or running or yoga into the mix. Last year, I flew to Mississippi and ran a 5K with Michelle, a friend since high school. In 2012, we ran the Richmond half. It would be great to continue the streak in 2014. Skiing is a little tricky for me, and I blame my geography. I'm hoping to change that.

And then the new intentions for 2014:

* Learn the names of students in my group yoga classes. Back when I did my 200-hour yoga teacher training, one of the parting tips given to my cohort was to learn our students' names. Funny thing, though, if you suck as a teacher, it doesn't matter whether you know your students' names. So I focused on teaching. And now I have regulars. Yes, I know a number of students' names. But it's tough to remember names when students are quasi-regular – they show up one day and not again for another 6 weeks. I want to be able to remember names even if I haven't seen a student in 6 weeks. If this were a goal-setting post, I'd give myself some number of names per month. 

Uh. Yeah. That's basically it. I'm basically all about setting myself up for success in 2014. 

Believe. And refuge.

Intentions for 2013

My apologies. 

It's taken an embarrassingly long to get this particular post written: My 2013 non-career-related intentions. 

To the extent that I set anything on a yearly basis, they're intentions, not goals. Last year, I explained why, and I expanded on that in my not-so-race recap from a holiday not-really-fun run in December, if you want some background.

When I sat down to write this post, I didn't really feel that I had many extracurricular intentions for 2013. I've got some career-related things that I need to deal with in the beginning of the year, which I'm certain make for very dull blog reading. I'll spare you the gory details.

Without additional fanfare, here are my intentions for my extracurricular activities in 2013:

*  Take a yoga teacher training in either yoga nidra, prenatal yoga, or therapeutic yoga. Stressed out type A's, pregnant women, yoga practitioners recovering from non-yoga injuries/surgeries, and baby boomers acknowledging they're not invincible make up a significant number of students in my restorative yoga classes. I love teaching these populations. Greater knowledge of yoga nidra, prenatal yoga, and/or therapeutic yoga will complement my restorative teaching. I have my eyes on a therapeutic yoga training at Pure Prana in Alexandria, VA, and a yoga nidra workshop at Tranquil Space in DC.

*  Develop a home yoga practice. My teacher Chrissy would say that merely taking one mindful breath is yoga. I don't disagree, but I also need to take some yoga home with me, rather than leaving it at the studios where I teach.  This morning, I went through a sequence that I plan to teach later this week.

*  PR in the 5K and 10K distances. I'd like to focus on shorter distances this year. It turns out that I like speed work, although I didn't step onto a track once last year. Hm. Better rethink that.

*  Run another trail race. I ran the North Face series' 10K just outside of DC last year. I'm open to suggestions for other trail races and am willing to travel.  So, really, leave a comment with your ideas. Preferably distances shorter than half marathon (see above), which I know are sort of rare on the trails.

*  Alpine ski. A lot.

*  Completely unrelated to anything fitness-ish other than the inspiration coming from running blogger Amy Lavender, I want to build from scratch a gingerbread house for Christmas 2013. I mean, how awesome was her gingerbread house last year?? Specifically, I want to build a gingerbread ski lodge. I'm not really into have no clue how to make or work with fondant, so my structure will have a more traditional siding. This isn't a completely ridiculous project for me: once upon a time I wanted to be an architect, and I spent a summer making scale models. And, I eat make gingerbread cookies. This project is a perfect merger of the two. Heh. Riiiiight.

*  Sleep in my tent at least one night. I may even settle for sleeping in a tent not my own. Last year was pathetic on this front. I slept in my tent ZERO times, and it made me realize that I really like sleeping in my tent. There's something super cozy about the experience for me. Weird, right?

* Finally, continue to nurture my friendships. In real life. Preferably by adding skiing or running or yoga into the mix.

And since these intentions are still outstanding from last year:

*  Ski a line, look up and say, "Holy shitake mushrooms, I just ripped that!" Okay. To be fair, I didn't exactly say "Holy shitake mushrooms, I just ripped that," but I skied a pretty sweet line at The Next Level freeskiing camp earlier this month.

*  Ski the Gulf of Slides on Mt. Washington. I don't really care if it's in 2012 or 2021. This could happen in May, maybe? It all depends on the conditions. A life intention, really, not a 2013 intention. Dave, do you hear me??

*  Stay injury-free and healthy. This isn't an outstanding intention. Unlike years past where I marched myself into the doctors office with costochondritis or various issues with my lower limbs, I don't think I saw the doctor for anything other than regular checkups this past year. It was amazing, actually. Plus, I made the right call when during that holiday fun run it began looking like I would crumble if I continued to run shuffle. But, this should be an intention that I carry with me throughout the years.

*  Sleep 8 hours a night. Similarly, sleeping 8 hours a night is a lifetime intention, too, but I'm sticking it on this year's list of intentions because it has yet to become a habit.

ॐ

2012 Intentions and Completing the Year

A friend recently passed along a link to this republication of a post on Intentblog.com that describes the intersection of setting intentions for the upcoming year and the art of completing the year we leave behind.

Completion, as the author defines it, "is a conscious process we engage in whereby we do and say whatever we need to in order to create a true sense of closure to an experience (in this case, the year that is about to end)." Perhaps the most compelling reason for practicing completion is the following:

Completion allows us to bring things to a close with a sense of gratitude, reverence, and peace. When we allow ourselves to experience a sense of true completion, we move into the next phase of life bringing with us the gifts, lessons, accomplishments, experiences, and more from what we’ve just been through. When we don’t take the time to truly complete something, we end up carrying baggage, regrets, fear, and unresolved issues into our next experience. These things don’t serve us and often end up undermining our success and fulfillment.

Dang, that's loaded. I don't want to bore the non-yogis/eastern philosophy readers, but one thing is certain: I sure don't want to be carrying any extra baggage on my next road race. At any rate, I don't think I take much of my extracurricular stuff so seriously as to have much to stew on and complete before moving on to next year's intentions, but I don't think I'm unique in writing that my personal life could probably benefit from the practice. Check out the source blog post for suggestions on how to practice completion.

On to the final check-in of this year's intentions...and I suppose maybe a little completion therapy.

*  Run my first half marathon. I ran the Richmond (VA) Half. I had two of my favorite people there with me, and it was a pretty awesome experience. I'm pretty sure this experience is complete.

*  Train for a finish at Richmond in under 2 hours. I missed by just over 2 minutes, which is a bit of a bummer when I write it out. Partway through my training cycle, I knew that I wasn't training hard enough for a sub-2 half. I have to remember all the things I was juggling this fall to really put into perspective how challenging it would have been for me to step up training. Do I want to keep training for a sub-2 half? Stay tuned.

*  PR in the 5K distance. I didn't run any late fall 5Ks, when I was at my fastest, so this didn't happen. I had contemplated running a 5K the week after the Richmond Half, but I caught a wicked cold that lasted forever.

* Volunteer at the race expo of a major local race. You'd think this wold be an easy intention. I was registered to volunteer at the Friday evening packet pickup for the April 2012 Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10-Mile Run. Then the opportunity to go on a backcountry hut ski trip came along.

*  Run a trail race. Just when you thought that all my intentions were for naught this year, voila! I ran my first trail race!

*  Ski a line, look up and say, "Holy shitake mushrooms, I just ripped that!" Yeah, whatever. The snow in 2012 was crummy.

*  Ski the Gulf of Slides on Mt. Washington. I wrote last year that I don't really care if it's in 2012 or 2021. Sure enough, thanks to the crummy snow year, I did not ski Gulf of Slides this year. It's okay. It'll still be there next year. And the next. It's not like it's the Old Man of the Mountain. I hope.

*  Backcountry hut ski trip. This wasn't originally one of my 2012 intentions as it was more of a life intention, but right before Christmas, I was unexpectedly invited to fill in for someone who dropped out of a trip to the Wallowas (OR). So I went on my first backcountry hut ski trip this year.

* Teach a regular, weekly sunrise yoga class. Yes. On Wednesday mornings. At the Y. You should go.

*  Stay injury-free and healthy. I definitely stayed injury-free, and other than the wicked cold of November that half the country got, I was pretty healthy. I even DNF'd a race when I thought it would jeopardize more than just my ego.

*  Sleep 8 hours a night. Sometimes...

Intentions vs. Goals: Road Race Edition

Confession: I had my first DNF. My ego survived.

I wasn't originally planning on running an 8K last Sunday, but when my original plans for the weekend fell through, I registered for the race. 

By race day, I was under a lot of emotional stress. When that happens, my nutrition and sleep patterns go very, very out of whack. Also, thanks to a wicked cold, I'd only run twice since the Richmond Half.

I showed up at the race start because I was hoping it would improve my mood. I'd told a friend I'd see her there, and there would be a post-race breakfast. Duh.

I ran down to the race start. Nothing felt right. It wasn't like any of my muscles were tweaked. Something was just off.

I met up with my friend. My brain was not in the game. 

As I waited for the race to start, my body was telling me that I needed to return the bathroom. But, I'd toughed it out 5 miles of "having to go to the bathroom" in the past, with no real need to go in the end, so there was a chance I'd be okay.

The first three miles were uncomfortable and somewhat surreal. I had no watch and no race plan, and I didn't really care. Between miles 2 and 3, I was in dire need of a bathroom. There aren't any bathrooms on a 4.9 mile course. I thought briefly about trespassing onto construction sites, but let's get real: this was the heart of DC's federal building complexes, with 3 security cameras trained on you at any moment, and I was wearing a race bib, which at a click of a button could reveal all the same information as my driver's license. Ultimately, I dropped out of the race in front of the National Air and Space Museum, somewhere after mile 3. The friend I was running with called out, "Are you quitting?" Yes. I was. And it didn't matter. There was no way I could finish this race with the way my guts were feeling. It was supposed to be a fun run. Not a double-over-in-GI-pain run.

None of the museums were open yet, and the closest public bathroom that I knew would be open was all the way back at the Washington Monument – 9 blocks away, if you're keeping track. I made it there, but not without significant distress. I felt, at times, like a freak grimacing as I walked through the Mall with my race bib on, green skirt, and Santa hat, as non-racing runners ran by for their Sunday long runs. 

DNF, was, of course, the right call. My body, the entire system, just couldn't take it. It wasn't a matter of fortitude, and really, there was nothing to prove. If I were in better emotional shape, I would have been able to fuel better. If anything, I would have been able to push through the GI issues. But that's just not where I was on Sunday.

***

Okay, so what's the point of this race recap? Not to solicit sympathy. Really. Rather, it's to illustrate why I'm more about setting intentions than goals. And it's not because I'm a slacker. I don't feel bad about what happened. In fact, I feel the worst for my friend, who spent the time after she finished until she found me wondering whether I was okay.

This column in Yoga Journal (no idea when it was first published) does a decent job of distinguishing between goals and intentions, although I'll be the first to tell you that I am the worst meditator on the planet. Anyway, the key parts of the column for our purposes are this:

Goal making is a valuable skill; it involves envisioning a future outcome in the world or in your behavior, then planning, applying discipline, and working hard to achieve it. You organize your time and energy based on your goals; they help provide direction for your life. Committing to and visualizing those goals may assist you in your efforts, but neither of these activities is what I call setting intention. They both involve living in an imagined future and are not concerned with what is happening to you in the present moment. With goals, the future is always the focus: Are you going to reach the goal? Will you be happy when you do? What's next?

Setting intention, at least according to Buddhist teachings, is quite different than goal making. It is not oriented toward a future outcome. Instead, it is a path or practice that is focused on how you are "being" in the present moment. Your attention is on the ever-present "now" in the constantly changing flow of life. You set your intentions based on understanding what matters most to you and make a commitment to align your worldly actions with your inner values.

And even further down:

. . .  only by remembering your intentions can you reconnect with yourself during those emotional storms that cause you to lose touch with yourself. 

I don't need to spell it out for you. On Sunday, I honored the intention that I set last year of staying injury-free and healthy. 

2012 Intentions: The 6-Month Checkup

Back at the end of December 2011, I listed 11 intentions for 2012. It's now the beginning of July (yikes, how did we get here??), and time to check in with how things are going.

Things that can be knocked off the list:

1. Run a trail race.

Done! In June, I ran the 10K distance of the North Face Endurance Challenge.

2. Backcountry hut ski trip.

Done! I hit the Wallowas in northeastern Oregon in March.

3. Teach a regular, weekly sunrise yoga class.

Done! I'm teaching two weekly restorative yoga classes, too!

Three. Three intentions realized so far.

As for the things I still need to do...it's a long list:

1. Run my first half marathon. I'm still registered for the Richmond Half (now the American Family Fitness Half Marathon), on November 10. 

2. Half marathon finish in under 2 hours. Specific training doesn't start until later this summer. But I'm building a base right now.

3. PR in the 5K distance. A work in progress...

4. Volunteer at the race expo of a major local race. I was all ready to volunteer at the packet pickup for the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler in April, but then the opportunity to go on a hut ski trip came up, and I seized that opportunity. Then I was thinking I'd volunteer at the half Ironman just outside of DC in August, even though I think that triathletes are a special kind of crazy endurance athletes. The half Ironman got canceled, so who knows when/if I'll volunteer this year.

5. Ski a line, look up and say, "Holy shitake mushrooms, I just ripped that!" This has so not happened yet. Maybe in December?? Although I rarely ski that early when I'm on the east coast.

6. Ski the Gulf of Slides on Mt. Washington. This is life intention, really, not a 2012 intention. So I'm fine with it not happening this year (tends to be a spring thing).

7. Stay injury-free and healthy. In the grand scheme of things, I'm doing well here. But getting a cold during 3/4 of the training cycle for my first trail race was not ideal. And to be honest, this is a permanent intention, not just a 2012 one.

8. Sleep 8 hours a night. I'm so not good at this. Except the night before races and the night after them. This is another permanent intention, not a 2012-specific one.

Onward...

Intentions for 2012

Intentions. That's yogi talk for "goals" because I'm not into goals (sorry, Lululemon). You can skip ahead to read my 2012 intentions, but even if you're not into "woowoo" (or whatever onomatopoeic sound you use to refer to "out there") yoga, I urge you to hear me out as to why "intentions" make more sense than "goals" for many of us:

In Daniel Gilbert's Stumbling on Happiness (which I only read the first few chapters before getting bored), the author argues that we suck at figuring out what makes us happy in the future. I agree. In 1999, I created a five-year professional plan – a great leap forward, career-wise. I met my goal. I got to where I wanted to be at year five, and it was meh. The journey wasn't bad, and I scored some sweet work travel (Saipan anyone?). Overall, reaching my goal positioned me for where I am over a decade later, somewhere I never thought I'd be. When I reached my goal, I was thrilled, but the goal itself was not right for me.

If we don't know what type of person we'll be in five years, how are we supposed to know what will make us happy in five years? If you do know, please send me your crystal ball.

So, as fluffy as it sounds, I'm more about the journey and positioning than setting goals. I want to be positioned so that if someone asks me to do something that sounds cool, I can jump right in. Invitation to fill a last-minute opening on a hut-to-hut ski trip? I'm in. (This actually happened a week ago, and I'm stoked!) Need someone to fill in on your overnight-relay team? I'm your gal (especially if it's Hood to Coast! Or Cascade Lakes.).

Also, every time goal that I've had for road racing has been sort of arbitrary. When I started running, my goals were things like "finish a 5K in under 30 minutes" or "10K in under 60 minutes" because I was stuck on how we categorize time. The fortuitous thing is that they were completely reasonable goals for me. Phew.

So, here are my some of my intentions for my extracurricular activities in 2012, and the steps I've taken towards making those intentions happen:

*  Run my first half marathon. I'm registered for the Richmond Half (technically the McDonald's Half Marathon, but who knows what that is??), on November 10. It's possible (though not likely) that I'll run a half before then, but racing 13.1 miles will happen no later than November 10.

*  I would love to have the diligence to train for a finish at Richmond in under 2 hours (another arbitrary time goal). On the other hand, I'd be very pleased if I could go under 2 hours in a half marathon before someone goes under 2 hours in a full. Heh. Who says I don't set reasonable goals intentions?

*  In the process of training for the sub-2-hour half marathon finish, I intend to PR in the 5K distance. My last 5K was in September 2007, and I clocked 26:46. If a sub-2-hour half marathon is going to happen, a 5K PR will, too. Also, I've been wondering whether I took my running hiatus during my peak, or whether I can still pick up speed. This is one way to find out.

*  I would also like to volunteer at the race expo of a major local race. To this end, I'm registered to volunteer at the Friday evening packet pickup for the April 2012 Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10-Mile Run.ª I've already done the course volunteer thing and got snarled at by then-D.C. Mayor Fenty (whole other story). Way to lose a vote.

Handing out water at the 2008 Dextro Tri to someone faster than the mayor.

*  For years I've been contemplating running a trail race, too. So, maybe 2012 is the year I'll run a trail race. I'm contemplating the 10K distance of the North Face Endurance Challenge when it comes to the DC area in early June. This particular race may be tricky to fit in. Hopefully it works!

*  I'm going to ski a line, look up and say, "Holy shitake mushrooms, I just ripped that!" Or some other variation. Of course, the 2011-2012 ski season is off to a spectacularly slow start.

*  I'd also like to ski the Gulf of Slides on Mt. Washington. I don't really care if it's in 2012 or 2021. This could happen in May, maybe? It all depends on the conditions. A life intention, really, not a 2012 intention.

*  Backcountry hut ski trip. This wasn't originally one of my 2012 intentions as it's also more of a life intention, but right before Christmas, I was unexpectedly invited to fill in for someone who dropped out of a trip to the Wallowas (OR). Woohoo! I'm telling you, positioning, not goal setting, is the key.

*  I'd like to teach a regular, weekly sunrise yoga class. There's something special to me about early-morning yoga. My paperwork has been wending its way through a gym for several months now...fingers crossed that it'll be complete early in the new year, and that they'll have an opening to teach a 7am class.

*  I'm going to stay injury-free and healthy. Despite heading into 2012 with remnants of costochondritis and a recurring pinched nerve, both on the right side of my body, I am optimistic.

*  I'd like to sleep 8 hours a night. Theoretically, this is the easiest thing to do on my list, but I'm horrible at getting enough rest.

Really, these are about it.


ª I've actually already hit a snag because the unexpected hut trip coincides with when I've registered to volunteer at the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler expo...it bums me out that I'll have to cancel being an expo volunteer.